d6p5dt

It's Day 6 post 5 day transfer and Andrea got another BFN. She still believes its too early to get a positive (which it is actually) and I am hanging on to her every word, symptom and hope. This has been a challenging few days (okay week) for me since we did the transfer. My emotions have been every where from omg, this worked, to maybe we have twins, to omg this didn't work and I feel as though I have to prepare myself for a big FAT BFN on blood test day. On the inside, I am a wreck, but on the outside I am calm cool and collected. I keep asking Andrea how she feels and if she thinks she's pregnant. She is optimistic and believes she is pregnant. She says she has that full numb feeling when she walks- that same feeling she had w. our other two children very early on. Her only sign that she was pregnant. I want to believe her with every fiber of my being, but I know that Progesterone can play nasty tricks on the body, but then again, she was on progesterone last time with Gigi but not with Javier. Hmmmm, now I am playing tricks on my mind. Where did my positive attitude a few days ago whither off to? I used to believe that this worked! I firmly believed that with out a shadow of a doubt that we would be pregnant. Why doubt? I tell ya why... FEAR! It gets me every time. I need to breathe and just trust that no matter what happens, God and or the Universe is going to give us what we need and not what we want, because life has an ironic way of working itself out. Andrea will POAS again tomorrow morning. I won't bug her to. It's her body. She will test again when she is ready. I love her for being so strong for the both of us right now. It's a real different role reversal. Normally, I feel for the both of us and Andrea thinks... at this point in the game, I am going to board her ship and just let us sail away to pregnant land. Micki