BFN

Andrea was at work when she got the news. Our Donor Egg nurse called to let her know that the beta was below 1 so that means the embies never even grew. They must have died during or after transfer. It was a blow to my heart. I cried at every given possibility. I knew that this was my only chance to have a dna child and well... now its gone. Everything happens for a reason though and I am happy that Andrea and I had the opportunity to try.

We got some interesting news from our RMA billing department the same day we found out that we weren't pregnant. Our insurance will cover one more ivf cycle. It will most certainly cover iui, but now I am torn. I dont know what to do. My heart says no! My heart cant take another heartache. I think Andrea is okay either way. The goal for her is baby 3. My dna or her dna it doesn't matter for her. I keep telling myself that it doesn't matter either, but to my heart it does. I love my babies and they help heal my broken heart every day. I am not crushed anymore by any means, I am just sad and am mourning the loss.

What to do... what to do. IVF or iui or do we even pursue this anymore? I am not sure. We haven't really had the chance to talk about what our next steps should be because Andrea has been working and when we do have time together the kids occupy our every moment. We do however, have a meeting with our IVF Dr. on the 29th to figure out what may have gone wrong and what we should do next.  Until then, I just sit and wonder where this journey is going to lead us.

Cheers,

Micki